Lifestyle /
Parenting Without Labels
Who knew that naming our kids would cause us to worry that we were choosing an identity for them?
I’m a Punjabi Sikh American, and my husband, Johann, is a Norwegian-German Lutheran American. We wanted to honour both of our cultures and religions when we had children, and giving them ethnic names was high on our priority list. So, we named our son Anders in honour of Johann’s background and our daughter Anjali in honour of mine. What we struggled with, however, was whether we were labeling our kids and choosing cultural identities for them based on their names.
Everything I’ve read on the topic indicates that mixed kids appreciate diversity and are not diminished by being exposed to all aspects of their backgrounds and celebrating their differences. What I like about this idea is that more and more kids are embracing the totality of their backgrounds rather than choosing to identify with just one side or the other. And that’s exactly what we strive for. No parent wants their child to feel marginalized on both sides or like they have to identify with one ethnicity over the other. In order to combat those feelings, I'm sharing some tools that we have started implementing within our own family.
1. Encourage Discussion about Our Cultural and Religious Backgrounds: Both Johann and I talk about our religious and cultural upbringings by telling stories from when we were little and by taking our children to the Sikh Gurdwara Temple and to church, and by exposing them to our ethnic languages and countries. We have dance parties to bhangra music and eat Indian food while also singing Norwegian bedtime songs and saying nightly prayers. While our kids are still young (aged four and two years), we are very cognizant of how important it is now and in the future to continue talking about what an important role our backgrounds play in who we are today, and to openly and honestly answer their questions on these topics.
2. Create a Family Identity: We like to celebrate our religious and cultural events as a family unit, so the kids can see both of us embracing all aspects of our backgrounds. We don't just identify as Indian, or Norwegian, or American. We are all of those things ("Punj-weg-ican," anyone?). There are many layers to our religious and cultural differences, but we want our children to know that we love each other and love the differences in our multicultural family as well.
3. Attend Cultural and Religious Events: Luckily, our families are a huge help with this. Whenever there’s a Sikh or Indian holiday, we celebrate it. For example, at Diwali, one of our family members always has a party, including fireworks and loads of great tandoori chicken. And, whenever Christmas, Easter, or Norwegian Syttende Mai (Constitution Day) rolls around, we explain the significance and lessons learned. Anders and Anjali love getting presents and going to parties, but they also love the sense of community that these events bring with them.
4. Don’t Label Them: This practice goes back to our original worry of whether we were categorizing our children as being either Indian American or Norwegian American by giving them ethnic names. Deep down, I may consider them to be Indian and Johann may see them as Norwegian, but ultimately, what we’ve realized is that their personalities are developing based on what we encourage and embrace — not the origins of their names or our internal viewpoints. Anders doesn’t perceive himself as not Indian because he has a Norwegian name; in fact, he’s my little one who loves bhangra music and eating Indian sweets more than anything. And Anjali, though she’s young, loves Norwegian meatballs and fish, and going to Ikea (had to throw that in for my Scandinavian friends!). Their personalities are evolving every day, and we want to encourage their exploration without putting any sort of label on them.
The bottom line is that, as long as we continue exposing them to our religions and cultures, our children will embrace parts of each religion and culture to create their own identities. And, really, when you’re thinking about how you want your child to grow and the type of people you want them to be, being someone who honours all aspects of their heritage is a pretty good foundation!
Images courtesy of Amrith Aakre
Amrith Aakre
Author
Amrith K. Aakre is a fitness nut, avid reader, and clings to her youth by going out dancing occasionally. Amrith’s goal is to communicate her thoughts on all topics from the perspective of a busy mom, wife, and attorney who is trying to find a space in the world.
COMMENTS
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
-
ANOKHI's Holiday Gift Guide For Thoughtful Desi Presents For The Home & Beyond
-
Not Into Flu Shots? Try These Centuries-Old Desi Home Remedies Instead!
-
Diwali Gift Guide: Barbie® Diwali Doll & 8 More Unique South Asian Gift Ideas
-
From Turkey To Tadka: Desi-Inspired Thanksgiving Recipes
-
Mommy's Time-Out: How To Reclaim Your Zen After The Back-to-School Scramble
-
Khichdi Cups & 5 South Asian School Lunch Recipes For Busy Desi Parents
-
6 Complaints Desi Grandparents Have About Keeping Pets & How You Can Counter Them
-
Raksha Bandhan Gift Guide: Celebrate The Festival With A Modern Twist!
-
Summer Elixirs: Healthy South Asian Cooling Drink Recipes To Beat The Heat
-
Stay Cool: Build a Summer Garden Oasis At Home With Tulsi & Shade
-
Celebrating International Yoga Day: Find Your Balance Through Chakra Meditation
-
Spice Up Your Summer BBQ With These 5 Mouthwatering South Asian Recipes
-
South Asian Heritage Month: Journey Through Time With 8 Iconic South Asian Travel Destinations
-
How To Add Ancient South Asian Spiritual Cleansing Rituals To Modern Spring Cleaning Techniques
-
Toronto's Living Luxe Design Show Sets a New Standard for Luxury Exhibitions
-
Savouring South Asian Style: Elevate Your Home Decor with Cultural Flair
-
6 Ways To Create Fun Quality Time With Your Kids & Parents That Both Will Love!
-
Celebrating South Asian Literature: Must-Read Books by Female Authors
-
Flavourful Festivities: Traditional Holi Recipes To Spice Up Your Table
-
The Living Luxe Design Show Presented By JennAir Announces Powerhouse Program Of Speakers
-
7 Ways Yoga Will Save Your Mental Health
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Can I Convince My Friend That Her Threatening Boyfriend Is The Problem, Not Me?
-
10 Tips To Manage & Survive Long-Distance Relationships
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: I'm Afraid My Childhood Bully Will Be Back In My Life, What Do I Do?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Create "Me Time" In My Demanding Life?
-
Hot Spot Alert: Mishree Cocktails & Cuisine Exhilarates With South Asian X Middle Eastern Cuisine
-
BioAro Founder Dr. Anmol Kapoor Wants You To Be The CEO Of Your Health
-
Savour the Holidays With This Paneer Pakora Recipe By KFI Sauces!
-
Here's How To Craft And Achieve Meaningful New Year's Resolutions
-
Snack It Up This Holiday Season with Indian-Inspired Potato Wedges by KFI Sauces
-
Butter Chicken Nachos Recipe By KFI Sauces Is Perfect For Your Holiday Spread
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend She's Taking My Emotional Support For Granted?
-
Anjali Pathak of Patak's Shares Her Favourite Recipes For The Holiday Season
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Why Does Our Family Get Togethers Always End With A Fight?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Sis-In-Law To Stop Intruding In My Daughter's Wedding Plans?
-
Event Alert: The Auric Living Conference Brings Holistic Healing To Toronto
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: I'm On The Outs With My Friend Because I Supported Her Breakup What Do I Do?
-
Event Alert: The Desai Foundation Rings In 10th Anniversary of "Diwali On The Hudson" Gala
-
South Asians & Arthritis: Busting Myths And Sharing Facts About This Disease In Our Community
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Convince My Kids That My Granddaughter's Best Friend Is A Bully?
-
Make Your Brunch Brilliant With This French Buckwheat Crepes & Dosas Recipe!
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Sis-In-Law That Her Messy Dog Is Not Welcome At My House?
-
You Just Need A Hot Pot To Make This Amazing Masala Style Vegan Tomato Soup
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Trust My Husband After He Cheated On Me?
-
Check Out This Insane Recipe For Mini Masala Idli
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Brother That His Cottage Rules Ruins All The Fun?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: What Do I Do When My Fiancé Shares His Dog With His Ex?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Convince My Partner That Our Six-Year-Old Is To Young For Sleepovers?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Deal With My Friend Who Always Wants To Start A Fight?
-
Here's Why Paris Calls Tharshan Selvarajah The Best Baguette Baker In The City
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Bestie Roommate Is A Nightmare
-
Pride 2023: Why Is India's Supreme Court Taking So Long To Legalize Same Sex Marriage?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: My Love Constantly Wants To Be With Me And I'm Exhausted
-
The Coronation Of King Charles III Was A Global Desi Affair
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: My In-Laws Introduces Our Kids As Their "Adopted" Grandkids
