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Our Parents Never Meant To Abandon Us
Dealing with the Biggest Betrayal — a Parent's Abandonment
There is a deep wound that has been passed on among the South Asian community. This wound has intensified with each generation. The pain of this wound is now so great that it's unbearable. On the surface, it has presented itself as anger, sadness, guilt, low self-esteem, blame and regret. Only now is it time to take note of this wound. It's time to stop passing on this hurt. It's time to heal. The wound that I'm referring to is the wound of abandonment.
The wound of abandonment leads to an inability to receive love. The abandoned will give and give love, but they have no idea how to receive it. They think they're unworthy and unlovable. Though they expend tons of energy giving love to others, they wonder why they feel drained and imbalanced. The abandoned will often feel lonely and isolated — even if they're in a relationship. Their relationships lack harmony and balance because these people feel like they're doing all the giving. But they continue because they have low self-esteem. The abandoned may also have issues trusting their partners out of fear that they too will abandon them.
Amir came to me for a Spiritual Personal Training Session. He is in the midst of a divorce, including custody issues and a financial settlement. Just as in all my sessions with my clients, we go beyond the chaos. I help them dive deep to see what lessons and gifts are waiting for them to embrace amid the so-called crisis. When talking about his childhood, Amir revealed that his parents were never really there for him. In fact, his parents had their own marital issues. They paid little attention to him, as they were entrapped in their own struggles. Amir complained that his parents didn’t take any interest in him, including his academic pursuits. Though his parents never really left him physically, Amir felt they were never there for him. He grew up feeling a lack of support and nurturing. Now in his 40s, Amir finally chose to open up about his feelings. I was the first person he spoke to about his pain.
Amir felt that his parents had abandoned him. Going back in his family history, Amir also mentioned that his parents were likely emotionally abandoned by his grandparents. Amir’s story was quite familiar. I had three other South Asian clients all within one week with the exact same issue. There is a common thread among all of them.
This made me think that perhaps this is an area within the South Asian community that needs addressing. Each person I had a session with was willing and ready to be free of their childhood wounds. I also felt that their pain had an ancestral history and had passed on from generation to generation.
So what’s changing? The pain is just too great to ignore any longer. With our evolution as conscious living beings, our souls no longer wish to expressed a life of mere existence. We want to live our lives as human beings who are capable of expressing our feelings. Our capacity to feel and the desire to express our emotions are in full bloom at this time. Furthermore, our souls no longer wish to repeat karmic lessons associated with abandonment. We're fully aware that our actions, words and thoughts have the potential to pass on to the next generation. Everything we say, do, tweet and post on Facebook is a legacy. We no longer want to feel isolated and separate from our parents, each other and, more importantly, with the Divine.
Now, you may be wondering what the origin of such a wound is. My theory is that, since we all have free will, at some point in time, our ancestors saw themselves as separate from the Divine. This separation adopted and imprinted the illusion of abandonment so strongly that it created a wound, which grew. The unhealed wound passed on through the lineage for many generations. This wound is now ready to heal. For this wound to heal, we cannot continue to see ourselves as separate from each other and the Divine. It will take our higher conscious thinking to heal us all. Blaming our parents or ourselves will keep us stuck in the continuing karmic cycle.
Feature Image: thompsonblogs.org
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Farhan Dhalla
Author
Spiritual Personal Trainer, Angel Therapist, Author, Television Personality Farhan is the world’s first Spiritual Personal Trainer. Farhan believes we can only succeed in any our life goals when we are in alignment with our spiritual Self. Farhan uses unique techniques to he...
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