Lifestyle /
One And Done
Being "One and Done" Is A-Okay.
Traditionally, South Asian culture involves rearing large families. Now, single-child households are on the rise. In Middle Class Dreams: India’s One-Child Families, Alaka M. Basu and Sonalde Desai write, “Among the urban middle classes, it is no longer unusual to find families stopping at one child.” More recent generations are adopting Western models. Individualist values, such as independence and self-reliance, are taking prevalence over collectivist values such as group obligations. Of course, not everything is black and white; people can have both individualist and collectivist traits. Deciding to be "one and done" does not speak to anyone’s values as much as it does to a family’s choice based on unique factors and circumstances.
Whatever the reason — finances, health, personal preferences, age — it would be nice if we all trusted a parent’s choice and instinct. But as most parents know by now, this is rarely the case. When a parent says they are happy with raising an only child, they can meet with a lot of criticism: "But they’ll be so lonely!" "They won’t learn how to socialize properly!" Or, my personal favourite, as my current partner is not my daughter’s father, “But don’t you want to have his child?”
“People say that only children are spoiled, bossy and lonely. But there are have been hundreds of research studies that show only children are no different than their peers,” social psychologist Susan Newman tells Bounty. Friendships can be made through school, daycare and play dates with friends. Plus, there is nothing wrong with spending time alone and nurturing an independence in your little one.
Statistically, people are starting families later in life. There may not be the time and energy required in having more than one child or the financial resources. It isn’t just working-class families opting for one-child households due to money. Middle-class families are trending this way too. A mother surveyed by The Guardian and NetMums reports, “We want to offer our son the best possible start in life by giving him access to lots of trips, living in a nice house, in a nice neighbourhood, with outstanding schools. If we had more children, we would have to move house, move area, I would have to move jobs, my partner would have to pay even more to commute into London so he would have to leave earlier and get back later, which would impact on him seeing our son.”
We all grew up seeing nuclear families on TV. White, married, heterosexual, middle-class couples with a son, a daughter and a golden retriever. It may be easy to get this perpetuated ideal mixed up with reality. When it comes to love, the glue of the family, there is no checklist of rules to follow.
Feature image courtesy of Getty Images
Hillary Di Menna
Author
Hillary Di Menna is a freelance journalist who manages to publish her scribblings while raising a six-year-old skateboarding ballerina and sharing her home with two snuggly black cats. Her parenting blog, Misfit Matriarch, follow her adventures in parenting. You can find all her work at
COMMENTS
YOU MAY ALSO LIKE
-
How To Host The Perfect South Asian Holiday Dinner
-
ANOKHI's Holiday Gift Guide For Thoughtful Desi Presents For The Home & Beyond
-
Not Into Flu Shots? Try These Centuries-Old Desi Home Remedies Instead!
-
Diwali Gift Guide: Barbie® Diwali Doll & 8 More Unique South Asian Gift Ideas
-
From Turkey To Tadka: Desi-Inspired Thanksgiving Recipes
-
Mommy's Time-Out: How To Reclaim Your Zen After The Back-to-School Scramble
-
Khichdi Cups & 5 South Asian School Lunch Recipes For Busy Desi Parents
-
6 Complaints Desi Grandparents Have About Keeping Pets & How You Can Counter Them
-
Raksha Bandhan Gift Guide: Celebrate The Festival With A Modern Twist!
-
Summer Elixirs: Healthy South Asian Cooling Drink Recipes To Beat The Heat
-
Stay Cool: Build a Summer Garden Oasis At Home With Tulsi & Shade
-
Celebrating International Yoga Day: Find Your Balance Through Chakra Meditation
-
Spice Up Your Summer BBQ With These 5 Mouthwatering South Asian Recipes
-
South Asian Heritage Month: Journey Through Time With 8 Iconic South Asian Travel Destinations
-
How To Add Ancient South Asian Spiritual Cleansing Rituals To Modern Spring Cleaning Techniques
-
Toronto's Living Luxe Design Show Sets a New Standard for Luxury Exhibitions
-
Savouring South Asian Style: Elevate Your Home Decor with Cultural Flair
-
6 Ways To Create Fun Quality Time With Your Kids & Parents That Both Will Love!
-
Celebrating South Asian Literature: Must-Read Books by Female Authors
-
Flavourful Festivities: Traditional Holi Recipes To Spice Up Your Table
-
The Living Luxe Design Show Presented By JennAir Announces Powerhouse Program Of Speakers
-
7 Ways Yoga Will Save Your Mental Health
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Can I Convince My Friend That Her Threatening Boyfriend Is The Problem, Not Me?
-
10 Tips To Manage & Survive Long-Distance Relationships
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: I'm Afraid My Childhood Bully Will Be Back In My Life, What Do I Do?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Create "Me Time" In My Demanding Life?
-
Hot Spot Alert: Mishree Cocktails & Cuisine Exhilarates With South Asian X Middle Eastern Cuisine
-
BioAro Founder Dr. Anmol Kapoor Wants You To Be The CEO Of Your Health
-
Savour the Holidays With This Paneer Pakora Recipe By KFI Sauces!
-
Here's How To Craft And Achieve Meaningful New Year's Resolutions
-
Snack It Up This Holiday Season with Indian-Inspired Potato Wedges by KFI Sauces
-
Butter Chicken Nachos Recipe By KFI Sauces Is Perfect For Your Holiday Spread
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend She's Taking My Emotional Support For Granted?
-
Anjali Pathak of Patak's Shares Her Favourite Recipes For The Holiday Season
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Why Does Our Family Get Togethers Always End With A Fight?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Sis-In-Law To Stop Intruding In My Daughter's Wedding Plans?
-
Event Alert: The Auric Living Conference Brings Holistic Healing To Toronto
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: I'm On The Outs With My Friend Because I Supported Her Breakup What Do I Do?
-
Event Alert: The Desai Foundation Rings In 10th Anniversary of "Diwali On The Hudson" Gala
-
South Asians & Arthritis: Busting Myths And Sharing Facts About This Disease In Our Community
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Convince My Kids That My Granddaughter's Best Friend Is A Bully?
-
Make Your Brunch Brilliant With This French Buckwheat Crepes & Dosas Recipe!
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Sis-In-Law That Her Messy Dog Is Not Welcome At My House?
-
You Just Need A Hot Pot To Make This Amazing Masala Style Vegan Tomato Soup
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Trust My Husband After He Cheated On Me?
-
Check Out This Insane Recipe For Mini Masala Idli
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Brother That His Cottage Rules Ruins All The Fun?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: What Do I Do When My Fiancé Shares His Dog With His Ex?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Convince My Partner That Our Six-Year-Old Is To Young For Sleepovers?
-
Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Deal With My Friend Who Always Wants To Start A Fight?
-
Here's Why Paris Calls Tharshan Selvarajah The Best Baguette Baker In The City
