Just because two people are talking, it doesn’t mean two people are listening. Miscommunications are common and can lead to chaos. Check out our tips on how to keep calm and communication on! Check out our mindful tips on communicating clearly.
With the average person having 50 – 70 000 thoughts per day, it’s easy to be distracted. That distraction can lead to time-consuming miscommunications while making us more susceptible to confusion or conflict with others.
To help you keep calm and communicate clearly, we’re sharing some communication tips:
Practice patience: Ever been in a bad mood and took it out on the wrong person? Unfortunately that’s something most of us are guilty of. Fortunately, that means it’s a relatable experience, a mistake we’ve all made. Next time someone is rude or impatient with you, instead of immediately reacting back (or internalizing it), take a step back and ask is the person really upset with you or are they having a bad day? Ask them with patience and openness.
Acknowledge your anger: Historically in the South Asian culture, woman have been encouraged to be submissive. We’ve gotten better in giving women a voice however, there’s still room for improvement. Many women are still told to be polite, look the other way and say “yes” to whatever is asked of them. This “politeness” can lead to resentment and long-term communication problems. If something is bothering you, be brave enough to articulate kindly. Don’t say yes if you really mean no and don’t say you aren’t angry when you really are.
Reflect on your response: The first reaction isn’t necessarily the best reaction. Often we listen with the intent to reply which means we aren’t really listening. Give yourself time to process what the other person is saying. Don’t rush into responding or speak just for the sake of speaking; focus on the quality not the quantity of your communication.
Don’t tell people what they said: What someone says may be different from what you understand. When communicating, replace “you’re saying or you said” with “what I’m hearing is or what I heard was.” This helps articulate you’re explaining your interpretation of what is being said and prevents you speaking on someone else’s experience.
Don’t do drama: This can be challenging especially if you’ve grown up with exposure to overly dramatic Bollywood cinema. Unlike the movies, real conflicts don’t always have a happy ending. Assess your relationships; if there’s someone that you’re constantly having communication problems with, it may be better to politely part ways. Tell them you’re taking some time for yourself, or that you feel the relationship has run its course (remember say what you mean just don’t say it mean).
Repeat your requests: An American study found that 46% of employees admit to leaving a meeting without knowing what to do next. Though the study focused on professional situations, we may experience this in our personal lives when we ask (or are asked) to do something, (especially if it’s in a quick, casual conversation). To confirm everyone is on the same page, do a quick repeat of next steps before you turn, (for example: “So that I’m clear, for our date night, I’m scheduling the babysitter and you’re make the reservation?”). Ensure you speak in a friendly tone that comes across as a light confirmation (to prevent sounding bossy).
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Rachna Sethi
Author
Rachna (@thesassyspiritual) is a graduate of the Applied Mindfulness Meditation program from the University of Toronto, a certified Educator with two bachelor degrees and a diploma in Art Therapy. She's dedicated to living with a compassionate approach. Committed to helping people integrate Mindfuln...