Lifestyle / You Won’t Believe These Obstacles Women Face When Trying To Have A Baby In India

You Won’t Believe These Obstacles Women Face When Trying To Have A Baby In India

Lifestyle Sep 15, 2021

by Devika Goberdhan | Features Editor - Fashion

When it comes to trying to conceive, there are many factors that need to be taken into account. One’s health, age and of course the financial ability to be able to take care of the newborn are usually at the top of the list. However in India, trying to have a baby presents itself with additional obstacles: dealing with cultural resistance when it comes to infertility and surrogacy on one hand and — depending on where you live — the added realization that the government may have a say on your decision as well. We take a closer look at how Indian women of today are trying to navigate this road to motherhood.

Becoming a parent is a huge undertaking.

But so is the process of trying to become a parent, which can take a serious emotional and mental toll on couples who are struggling with infertility.

You Won't Believe These Obstacles Women Face When Trying To Have A Baby In India — **You Won’t Believe These Obstacles Women Face When Trying To Have A Baby In India: Many couples are quietly fighting the battle of infertility, but it needs to be talked about more.** Photo Credit: www.intimina.com

The Blame Game:

It doesn’t help matters when you’re viewed as a failure in the eyes of the South Asian community, in particular, if you’re unable to have a child, regardless of if it’s your fault or not.

This is especially burdensome for women as being a female comes with the expectation that you should want to and have to bear children for your husband – this is our purpose as women after all. And when you don’t, be it that you don’t want to have children (gasp) or are unable to conceive, your value as a woman is questioned. Aunties will often offer unsolicited advice about how to get pregnant, ask what you’re waiting for, or let you know that your beloved husband will leave you if you’re unable to produce an heir.

Like I said, the weight of infertility is often placed on the woman (as if we didn’t have enough to worry about). However, according to Indian Express, approximately “10-15 percent of the nation’s population exhibit complications related to fertility.” To put it into perspective, Times of India highlights that nearly “12-18 million couples in India are diagnosed with infertility every year.”

The kicker here is that the women have been unfairly carrying the weight of the shame and despair that infertility brings as, according to Times of India when couples are experiences difficulties with fertility, “…50% is due to “male factor” infertility, owing to the reproductive anomalies in the male.”

In fact, Deccan Herald reported that almost “1.5% more men suffer from infertility than women.”

Evidently, over the years, men in their late 20’s to mid-30’s are more often experiencing “…a combination of low sperm concentration or poor sperm motility, or abnormal morphology.” These issues may be caused by numerous things, such as “…unhealthy lifestyle, lack of physical activity, high pressure jobs, pollution, poor diet, alcohol consumption and smoking.”

I mean, honestly, how dare a woman’s eggs not be more aggressive about latching on to the limited sperm that manages to come their way? Rude. Unfortunately, within South Asian culture, this is the reality.

A woman’s worth is tied to producing a child for her husband, and so the issue of infertility and the negative feelings it might bring is hers to carry, and hers alone. South Asian culture determines that the woman must be the one to go through infertility treatment, while men are “…undiagnosed and untreated” because honestly, what would people say?!

Controlling Birth Rates:

Keeping infertility in mind, some states in India, like Uttar Pradesh are seeking to formally control birth rates by providing perks to households that limit how many children they have. For example, according to Nikkei Asia, incentives for households “…with two children would [include] higher pay and subsidies for real estate purchases to soft loans and utility bill rebates.” Meanwhile, parents with a single offspring “would receive even more perks in education, health care and employment.” Whereas parents with more than two children “…would become ineligible for state subsidies and welfare benefits, as well as losing the right to run for a state assembly seat.”

But, when we think about South Asian culture, male children are preferred over female children. The ludicrous idea that boys are worth more than girls as female children are more of a burden continues to permeate minds in India.

Don’t believe me?

Deutsche Welle reported that nearly “…2 million [females] go “missing” across age groups every year because of abortion of female fetuses, disease, neglect and inadequate nutrition.”

This leads me to think that after struggling with infertility, women in areas where child limits are being enforced may also be forced to make the jarring decision to commit female feticide to avoid going over the limit and ‘save a spot’ for a male child that may never come.

Enough Is Enough:

The underlying patriarchal ideologies that govern the concept of family in South Asian communities are deeply problematic and may lead to even more undue hardship for women.

There’s no reason that women need to carry the burden of the family and there’s no need for nearly two million baby girls to go missing each year. It’s just not acceptable.

The truth is that it takes two people to make a child.

And so, I believe it is up to newer generations of South Asians to take the male ego off of the pedestal that it has been placed upon by their ancestors to hold men accountable for the fact that infertility can also be because of them. It is high time that men share the burden of infertility and the difficulties that come with having a family, such as getting treatment, acknowledging that there is a problem with them, and having these conversations with others to remove the stigma.

As well, it is high time that the preference for boys over girls is squashed (I mean, hello, girls are freaking awesome)! While I can try to understand the need to limit the growth of India’s population, introducing limits on children may add even more pressure on women who are experiencing issues with fertility (regardless of if it’s their fault) to have the ‘right’ child and not waste her shot. And so, I believe that once again, we will need the younger generation of South Asians to advocate for these unborn children and value them, no matter their gender.

All in all, infertility is not an easy thing to deal with, so let’s kick this old-world thinking about the family to the curb and not make creating a family harder than it needs to be for everyone involved.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Devika Goberdhan | Features Editor - Fashion

Author

Devika (@goberdhan.devika) is an MA graduate who specialized in Political Science at York University. Her passion and research throughout her graduate studies pushed her to learn about and unpack hot button issues. Thus, since starting at ANOKHI in 2016, she has written extensively about many challe...

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You Won’t Believe These Obstacles Women Face When Trying To Have A Baby In India

by Devika Goberdhan | Features Editor - Fashion

Devika Goberdhan | Features Editor - Fashion

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