Lifestyle / This Is Why Malala Won’t Marry Your Son

This Is Why Malala Won’t Marry Your Son

Lifestyle Jun 07, 2021

by Asma Arshad Mahmood

The religious sect of Pakistani society has been condemning Malala Yousafzai’s progressive stance on marriage, in her latest interview with British Vogue. The uproar accompanied by #ShameOnMalala hashtag, has inspired Asma Arshad Mahmood to pen her full-hearted support for Malala, while pleading for Pakistanis to break from their patriarchal ideations of marriage in order for the country to move forward as a society and as a culture.

Malala Yousafzai is 23 year old. She is at the top of her world as the most well known, well respected and accomplished Muslim woman in the world. It is to her credit that she graces the cover of British Vogue with a beautiful photo shoot and a complete, comprehensive refreshing interview. And this very interview has Pakistani hardliners in knots. Her ideas about marriage and male female relationships has them falling over themselves creating a perfect fief that declares that man woman relationships can never be a healthy, friendly one. According to their definition, It can only be relationship of blood or marriage!

Why Malala Won't Marry Your Son — Why Malala Won’t Marry Your Son: Malala on the cover of the July issue of *British Vogue*. Photo Credit: www.vogue.co.uk

I’m so glad that Malala has just stepped over these debilitating assumptions and declared her ideas as an open minded educated and self assured young lady. What she wants is to choose and it does not mean that marriage is her objective. She seeks healthy relationships without the bondages of sexuality or religious and social assumptions that may go with them.

Malala wants what every girl, who is not under the influence of popular religious rockstars, the right to choose and the right to stay unmarried if she so chooses.

Pakistanis — many of them — if social media and clerics outrage is anything to go by, hate Malala for the very same reason why Taliban targeted her when she was just a 12 year-old school girl. She is bold and bright. She was an activist for girls’ education and remains one to this day.

And she is not afraid.

The global attention she is getting is taxing for those who feel that the opportunity she received to get out of Pakistan was just too easy. The jealousy and small mindedness of these people for a young woman is reflective of a complexed depraved strains in society that cannot stand to see an accomplished self assured woman. The ridiculous part is that her statement about exploring the idea of a choice to remain unmarried is being viewed as an attack on the institution of marriage itself.

Why Malala Won't Marry Your Son: Pakistani clerics and the religious sect viewed Malala's ideas of marriage as an attack on their sacred institution. Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com — **Why Malala Won’t Marry Your Son: Pakistani clerics and the religious sect viewed Malala’s ideas of marriage as an attack on their sacred institution.** Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

However our depraved community cannot accept the simple desire of a 23 year-old, global celebrity not finding the need nor the desire to play the field, and of not conforming to the role of a wife or a mother at this stage. Her simple statement about having male friends did not in anyway constitute sexual partnerships, but to have strong friendships that are not dependent upon marriage to be acceptable to the world.

Malala asks this question because she comes from the society that allows anyone, even closest cousins to marry, thus reducing the sphere for girls to enjoy healthy normal non-sexual friendly relationships with men. Women are taught to mistrust men and the segregation of sexes insisted upon. With such background, I hear Malala loud and clear. And if you can’t, then don’t judge her by your standards.

Unless the institution of marriage which is not an equal partnership, is not given the respect it deserves by those who think of it as a relationship of control over women, any young educated, well established woman will find it an unnecessary hassle. And may I say that the same goes for many men too. Men who don’t let their societal expectations get the better of them. Procreation is the least of our issues in this day of ballooning global population.

It’s mind-numbing to see Pakistan slide really low on the scale of tolerance and rights for women. One would think that with a Prime Minister like Imran Khan, the handsome, Oxford educated, worldly, global celebrity, Pakistan would be moving to better the standards of rights for minorities, women and for thr LGBTQIA+ community. However that unfortunately is not the case. Khan — who is twice divorced — is now married to a “holy woman” who moves around like a fortified silk tent and to whom some attribute Khan’s ascension to the role of Prime Minister, thanks to her skill of prayers and special spiritual connections. She recently inaugurated a university dedicated to special super natural sciences dressed up as spirituality.

Men do a great disservice to themselves when they declare that women should stay at home to protect themselves. We know that men are not the beasts that the society presents or trains them to be. They also have the complete ability to be open minded, control their libido and interact with the opposite sex as equals. However the problem is that Pakistani women do not raise such sons. Their own personal experiences lead them to raise children perpetuating their own weakness and fears!

I say take your time Malala. Do it fearlessly and maybe one day you will find someone whom you feel would be worthy of your trust and to be a companion for you. And you just might sign those papers too. However, if that does not happen, life has so much more to offer besides getting married. Meanwhile, Pakistani moms can look at you and read your interview and say, ‘I will raise my son to be worthy of you, Malala!’.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.vogue.co.uk, www.unsplash.com

Asma Arshad Mahmood

Author

Asma (@asmamahmood3) is a Canadian/Pakistani visual artist & curator whose work explores globalized artistic context. She has curated international multi-disciplinary art events, exhibitions and co-founded international festivals. She has served as the community editorial board member for Toront...

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This Is Why Malala Won’t Marry Your Son

by Asma Arshad Mahmood

Asma Arshad Mahmood

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