Lifestyle / Reality Check: My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian

Reality Check: My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian

Lifestyle Jan 06, 2021

by Geeta Wahab

We continue our holiday series: Our #ICYMI Stories Of 2020, with own Geeta Wahab who gets candid about her growing up as Guyanese, Indo-Canadian and why it’s important for her to reclaim her Indian heritage.

The idea of doubting someone’s Indian identity especially for those of West Indian descent came to light in an episode of Indian Matchmaking where Nadia expressed her frustration at how some South Asians didn’t see her as an authentic Indian because of her Guyanese heritage. Our very own Geeta Wahab reflects on her own similar experiences growing up as a Guyanese Indo-Canadian, and why she feels it’s important to clear the air that yes, she’s in fact just as Indian as everywhere one else.

I am Indian. I am Guyanese. I am Canadian. It took me a while to settle into who I am as a brown woman and although it wasn’t easy it is the most worth-while adventure I have taken. Gaining confidence in who I am took years of learning about my rich and layered culture and moving past the social norms that I faced within each of those layers.

Reality Check: My West Indian Heritage Doesn't Make Me Any Less Indian — **My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian: Proud ANOKHI LIFE family member since 2010 and living it up at the ANOKHI Gala 2017.** Photo Credit: Geeta Wahab

The Layers

Growing up in Toronto, I was privy to a multicultural community where I had friends from all backgrounds and lived in a place where I fit in without realizing I was different. However, much like everything else, as you age you start to notice your differences. The impact of stereotypes I faced were two-fold: rude and crude comments about being Indian or vulgar generalizations about being Caribbean, and the worst is when those groups pointed a finger at each other with me caught in the middle.

It created a sense of feeling like an outcast with groups I thought I identified with, however, ended up feeling like I wasn’t enough of something or like I was a diluted version of it. It was a feeling that could be triggered by many things like, glances or snide remarks, to the assumption you know a certain language or was dumb for not understanding something.

I’ve been in situations where there is an assumption I spoke Hindi or knew what everything was on the menu at an Indian restaurant, but at the same time also get plenty of stares for my short hair and tattoos while sari or diya shopping. Despite understanding the culture, being Hindu, loving old school Bollywood movies and being a Bharatnatyam dancer, I still felt different.

Emotion, melody, rhythm, dance.

Bharatnatyam taught me a lot about my religion and culture; the longer I danced, the more I learned about myself. Dance class was always fun, however, I didn’t speak the language in the music and that everyone else spoke which made me stand out. It was during this time that I first felt that sense of not being enough. English speaking girl + class of girls and teacher who spoke a different language = plenty of opportunity to feel left out. I would get the sense that people thought I was a good for a Canadian girl, that somehow that was impressive.

On the other hand, when I talked about dance outside of class, the assumption was always that it was ballet or hip hop and never anything Indian because I grew up here, so why would I want to learn an Indian dance. On top of all of it, on the rare occasions I played mas, the assumption was I couldn’t whine or shake it because I am just an Indian girl. I faced feeling not Indian enough during dance class, too Indian when I talked about dance outside of class and also stereotyped because who said Indian girls can’t shake it.

DWB — Dating While Brown

The internal conflict didn’t quite hit me until I started dating — and if this hasn’t been one heck of a journey. Was there an attempt to be set up? Yes. Was there a dalliance with an Indian dating site? Yup. Was there a series of meh dates? Oh yeah. As much as the convenience of an arranged set up is appealing, the process and urgency is not, but the dating side of things aren’t any easier. This is where my differences really started to stand out.

Noticeable differences would be evident during conversations about where I came from, my religion, or my background. Feeling like I’m not Indian enough to find a Desi partner, and to be told sorry, you’re not the right kind of Indian, religion, culture, etc. sucks. I understand preferences for a partner, but whether I was born here or abroad, whether my family is Guyanese or something else, doesn’t change my level of Indianness — I just think of myself as the remix.

As much as there are times I have felt not Indian enough, there are also times that I have felt “just Indian” because that is the only part of me that is acknowledged; and these experiences doesn’t leave me feeling any better. Feeling not Indian enough or having someone fixate on you being Indian isn’t a great place to be and definitely not a healthy place to start dating from.

My West Indian Heritage Doesn't Make Me Any Less Indian: — **My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian: A Fresh take on my Bharatnayam pants**. Photo Credit: Trevor Godinho

Continual Learning

As I entered adulthood, there was still a piece of me that still felt fragmented and misunderstood. The older I get, the more I understand the vast diaspora of India and how far the culture has stretched. I am continuing to learn about the Indentured Labour system, where hundreds of thousands of Indians were relocated to parts of Africa and the West Indies birthing a hybrid of culture where India and South East Asia met African cultures.

Being Guyanese is another cultural layer on top of my Indian layer, but it doesn’t change anything. Both cultures are founded on the same roots. My Canadian identity adds another layer to who I am. It also shows the need to make the connection between being Indo-Caribbean, Indian, Indo-Canadian or any other international Indian hyphenated monikers because there are so many aspects of Indian sub-culture waiting to be highlighted and connected.

As that Canadian-Guyanese-Indian kid, my music is as much Bollywood and Indian as it is Soca and Top 40. The curry that I cook at home is the West-Indian style curry you get at the Jerk Chicken spot and I still need recipes for some Indian food. I celebrate Diwali and other auspicious days just like other Hindus but also love to jump up at Caribana and to play in Mas when I can, with all that said, I have always unquestionably been Geeta.

(L) Toronto Revellers Band Launch 2016 - Waura People. Photo Credit: The Collabo Blog. (R) Sari, not Sari. Photo Credit: Trevor Godinho — **My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian: : (L-R) Toronto Revellers Band Launch in 2016 — Waura People. Sari, not Sari.** Photo Credit: The Collabo Blog, Trevor Godinho

Main Image Photo Credit: Trevor Godinho, Geeta Wahab

Geeta Wahab

Author

Cultivating a life she loves, Geeta (@geets.suites) is chasing all her passions, including her love for home décor. As a brand new home owner, her current journey has launched her further into that world - check out her Instagram @geets.suites for tidbits of her story and other decorating pieces. A...

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Reality Check: My West Indian Heritage Doesn’t Make Me Any Less Indian

by Geeta Wahab

Geeta Wahab

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