Lifestyle / Pressured To Socialize? Relax And Relish In JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)

Pressured To Socialize? Relax And Relish In JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)

Lifestyle Dec 16, 2021

by Rachna Sethi

The jab has become the ticket to socializing. And that is more evident now as we are in the midst of holiday party season. However one thing that this new normal has taught us is the new found interest in realigning our priorities to best suit our needs. So forget FOMO, ’tis the season of JOMO where finding joy of missing out has become an acceptable fact of life.

Family gatherings, work events, social gatherings, oh my! It’s the season where social calendars tend to fill-up and the days can feeling like they are passing in a flurry of activities. Along with some COVID-19 restrictions being lifted, have come more invitations to socialize. In an ever-changing world of social rules and health guidelines, we’re all adapting at a different pace and adjusting back to being more social, isn’t always easy for everyone.

Many people continue to navigate through feelings of uncertainty and a fear of socializing while also dealing with wanting to get back out there. Missing loved ones and craving in-person social connection can lead to FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out on social activities) and those feelings can exist in duality with a comfort we may feel about staying safe and cozy in the comfort of our own homes (JOMO: Joy Of Missing Out).

So how do we find the balance of embracing JOMO while ensuring our time at home and/or decline of social invitations isn’t fear-based? How do we adapt to our need for in-person social connection while respecting our apprehension on being at social gatherings?

Start By Asking Yourself These Questions:

Are you genuinely happy staying home?

Is your decision to stay home being made from a place of contentment and ease (as opposed to fear or apprehension)?

**Pressured to Socialize? Relax And Relish In JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out): Would you rather stay in than go out?** Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

If the answers to both our yes, then embrace staying put! You’re likely just enjoying added alone time; you’re in a state of genuine JOMO and no further action may be required at this point (other than putting on your coziest socks and making yourself a nice cup of chai).

If you had a no (or two), then you’re likely missing social connection and taking some action may be best for you.

Read on for some tips on how to navigate this ever-changing, tricky social space in a way that’s mindful of your mental health and well-being:

Don’t shame yourself for not feeling social: It’s okay to have fears – the past few years have been scary and with new variants emerging, we remain in a place of uncertainty. Avoid judging, shaming, and putting pressure on yourself to get back out there and be a social butterfly. If you need to take it slow, do that – embrace your “caterpillar” and trust that you’ll evolve again in time; ensure you’re speaking to yourself with a gentle, self-acceptance. It may seem like missing out on a party is a big deal in the moment but trust there will be another one in the future; shaming yourself will only heighten your stress level.

Don’t allow others to shame you: Make your decisions on what will bring you the most peace – avoid succumbing to the pressure to socialize from others. Maybe your family, friends and/or work colleagues are ready for events and even hugs – it doesn’t mean you have to be. Stand in your power and trust your gut, if you allow others to guilt you into being social, it may be a forced experience that you don’t enjoy anyway (and they may feel that energy in-person as well). A simple “thank you for the invite, I appreciate being included. I won’t be able to make it this time, but I hope we can catch up in the future” does the trick – you don’t need to go into the reasons if you don’t want to.

Start small: Whether you’re excited for it or not, the first time back out in a large, social event can be overwhelming (I felt this way and was genuinely surprised by my emotions. I thought going back to being around people would feel natural and easy but after staying in isolation for so long, it can take awhile to adjust to the sheer presence of a lot of people not to mention the noise levels). Pace yourself – try participating in smaller social settings first (e.g. grab dinner with one friend at a quieter restaurant). Gage your comfort levels and try expanding a bit every week. It can also be helpful to find a quiet corner in a busy space (e.g. like a café) and just people watch from a distance to get used to being physically present with others and the added noise.

Choose quality over quantity: Just because you’re going to one event, it doesn’t mean you have to go to all the events. Review your invites and/or social options, sit with them for a bit and then decide which ones will make you feel most comfortable. Ask yourself what social interactions and will leave you feeling most mentally and spiritually nourished. Consider the impact the impact the physical spaces will have on you as well (for example, maybe you’re more comfortable catching up with a friend over a walk in nature as opposed to attending a larger, holiday house party).

Embrace your evolution: Maybe you used to be a social butterfly, always experiencing FOMO when others were out and about and the past few years have changed you; maybe you have a heightened appreciation for alone time and/or cooking at home, relaxing on the couch, sitting in meditation, watching movies at home instead of cinemas and maybe that surprises you (and those around you). Maybe you have a new fondness for a healthy level of JOMO. Remind yourself your allowed to change, grow, evolve – we enjoy different things at different times of life. Perhaps in two years you’ll go back to being the life of the party, hitting every social event or maybe you won’t…all you need to remember is to accept yourself either way.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Rachna Sethi

Author

Rachna (@thesassyspiritual) is a graduate of the Applied Mindfulness Meditation program from the University of Toronto, a certified Educator with two bachelor degrees and a diploma in Art Therapy. She's dedicated to living with a compassionate approach. Committed to helping people integrate Mindfuln...

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Pressured To Socialize? Relax And Relish In JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out)

by Rachna Sethi

Rachna Sethi

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