Lifestyle / Tips On How To Communicate With Your Partner During Challenging Times

Tips On How To Communicate With Your Partner During Challenging Times

Lifestyle Feb 24, 2022

by Rachna Sethi

Every couple hits a rough patch. That’s when tempers are short, tolerance seems to have lowered, and you feel that you aren’t listened to. This is where focusing on your communication skills is vitally important. Here are key tips on how to communicate with your partner, even when you just don’t want to.

As mentioned in our earlier post this month, The Myth of the Perfect Couple, no relationship is perfect. However, just because we own and accept that it’s okay to be “perfectly imperfect,” it doesn’t mean that we cannot take steps to improve our relationships, especially when it comes to how we communicate during challenging times.

Check-out (and try) three of our communication tips to help your partnership navigate through rough patches and bumpy roads:

Acknowledge it’s a challenging time

Sometimes it can feel like the healthiest thing to do to keep the peace is “sweep the issue under the rug” but the problem with that is that the dirt is still there. Awareness is the first step to making positive change – address the reality that you’re feeling disconnected or facing challenges. Avoid falling into a place of avoidance because hurt energy rarely disappears – it will manifest itself in other forms. Remind yourselves you’ve had lots of ups so it’s natural to have some downs.

Approach the acknowledgement with affirming, hopeful, “I” statements, for example:

“I’m feeling disconnected. I’m feeling like we aren’t on the same page these days…I don’t have solutions on how we can fix this, but I value this relationship enough to work together towards finding some.”

An additional benefit of acknowledging the disconnect is it can help create a mutual understanding to take some alone time and/or space. To be clear, we aren’t talking about a “break” just a walk, an evening, a few days to clear both heads about the situation so that conversation can be from a place of healing and responsiveness (as opposed to reactivity, anger and/or sadness).

Practice deep listening

It can be human nature to want to reply when someone shares (sometimes we barely listen because we’re more focused on how we want to respond). Don’t interrupt your partner when they are talking – give them the space to express themselves. Focus on listening without taking everything they say personally, remember overall, you’re on the same team – it’s not about being against each other, it’s about allowing each other to be and share your whole selves without shame and/or judgment.

After the sharing is done, if you feel the need to say something, use mindful based responses, for example:

“Thank you for sharing how you feel with me.”

“I appreciate you have your own feelings and thoughts about our situation.”

“Can I share back with you what I heard from what you shared to make sure I’m understanding it correctly?”

Bond beyond talking

Just because you don’t feel like talking to your partner, doesn’t mean you can’t connect with them. If you’re struggling to communicate with words and have no desire for intimacy, find ways to connect without speaking.

Examples can include:

Reading books in the same room,
Going to the movies,
Doing a yoga class,
Taking a silent walk,
Hitting the gym,
Taking a drive with music blasting,

None of these suggestions are overly affectionate yet create space and opportunity to bond. It can be helpful to switch from all the “doing” to just being together.

Rachna Sethi

Author

Rachna (@thesassyspiritual) is a graduate of the Applied Mindfulness Meditation program from the University of Toronto, a certified Educator with two bachelor degrees and a diploma in Art Therapy. She's dedicated to living with a compassionate approach. Committed to helping people integrate Mindfuln...

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Tips On How To Communicate With Your Partner During Challenging Times

by Rachna Sethi

Rachna Sethi

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