Lifestyle / Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me?

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me?

Lifestyle Aug 29, 2023

by Dr. Monica Vermani

We continue our series where Dr. Monica Vermani answers questions about life, love and everything in between.

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker, columnist and advocate in the field of mental health and wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is now available on Amazon, and her in-depth online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, offers powerful mental health guidance, life skills, knowledge and healing, anywhere, anytime.

Dear Dr. Monica,

A good friend of mine is driving me crazy with her constant interruptions! She interrupts me mid-sentence when I am telling a story, talking about work or plans, or we’re just kidding around. She does the same thing to other people, even when out with a large group.

She got really upset when another friend called her on this, which has so far kept me from saying anything. The thing is, she didn’t always do this. She’s smart, funny, and a really good person, and I don’t want to end our friendship. But I’m at my wit’s end with her and dread spending time with her. How can I talk to her about this?

Signed,

Cut-off

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me? — **Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me: “Cut-off” is fed up from being cut-off.** Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dear Cut-off,

I hear you!

What you’ve got there is a friend who is hard of listening! We’ve all been there, talking to someone who seems itching to interrupt, or lost in thought about what they’re going to say next, rather than listening to what we have to tell them. And chances are we have all been on the other side of this situation too, feeling anxious, frustrated, rushed or disengaged, and barely paying attention to someone who is talking to us.

We’ve all experienced the exact opposite as well. Think about how great it feels when you are talking to someone who is giving you their full attention and responding in a way that makes you feel heard, understood, and respected. This is what active listening is. And active listening skills are among the most powerful communication tools we can develop.

As for what you can do about your friend, why not lead by example and be the change you want to see in your relationship? Try talking to your friend one on one, not when you are upset, but at a time when you are both relaxed. Talk to her about active listening, and how disrespected you feel when she cuts you off in the middle of a thought or a story. Ask her whether she realizes that she often does this. And listen with compassion to her response. Imagine her perspective, and respect her point of view, even if you disagree. In other words, listen to your friend in a way that you would like her to listen to you.

The more deeply in tune you can be with your friend, the more in tune she will be with you. Through deeper, more mutually satisfying exchanges with your friend, you will both feel more satisfied, engaged, and connected.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dr. Monica Vermani

Author

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating trauma, stress, mood & anxiety disorders and is the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is coming out in 2021. www.drmonicavermani.com

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Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Interrupting Me?

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Dr. Monica Vermani

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