Lifestyle / Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Underage Nephew Expects Me To Buy Booze For Him

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Underage Nephew Expects Me To Buy Booze For Him

Lifestyle Mar 22, 2023

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker, columnist and advocate in the field of mental health and wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is now available on Amazon, and her in-depth online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, offers powerful mental health guidance, life skills, knowledge and healing, anywhere, anytime.

Dear Dr. Monica,

I agreed to stay with my 16-year-old nephew while my brother and his wife go on a second honeymoon cruise next month. Since making this arrangement, I have started to learn the ‘house rules,’ that is to say, what will be required of me. I understood that my nephew’s parents do a lot for him, and I was prepared to drive him to school, sports events, and parties, but I was shocked to learn that my brother and sister-in-law actually buy liquor for him to bring to parties. When I learned of this, I let my brother know that I would not be doing this. He said that he would just get it some other way and that I should relax and enjoy the chance to be the cool uncle.

I’m conflicted about what to do. I don’t want to forfeit the chance to bond with my nephew, but I don’t want to provide him with alcohol. Any thoughts on how to handle this?

Signed,

Uncle Uncool

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Underage Nephew Expects Me Too Buy Booze For Him: Uncool was shocked to learn that his brother and sister-in-law actually buy liquor for his 16 year-old nephew to bring to parties. Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dear Uncool,

Your nephew is lucky to have such a caring uncle! And your brother and sister-in-law are fortunate to have you as a voice of reason in their son’s life.

I am squarely with you on this one. Your 16-year-old nephew is a minor. It is against the law in Canada, as well as other jurisdictions, to provide alcohol to minors. While consequences may vary from province to province, there are severe penalties — including fines and incarceration — in place to deter adults from doing just what your brother and his wife are doing on a regular basis, that is to say, appearing to be the cool parents by providing their teenager with a substance that he is not legally permitted by law to consume.

The reality is that alcohol is the most widely consumed substance in Canada, and most teens, by the age of 15, have tried alcohol at least once. But this doesn’t mean that you should be enabling your nephew’s recreational use of alcohol. Most young people consider drinking as a cool, no-risk relaxing party activity. But many teens drink to excess in the presence of peers.

Talk to your nephew so he understands why you are not comfortable with supplying him with alcohol while his parents are away. Explain to him that just because alcohol is legal for adults to consume, it is illegal for you to supply him with alcohol. Let him know that alcohol is far from risk-free, that it is linked to heart disease, stroke, liver disease, numerous cancers, mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, and a range of social issues. Impaired driving due to alcohol is the number one criminal cause of death in Canada. And impaired driving is a serious crime with potentially life-altering consequences … even if you are just a kid.

He may not like what you have to say in the moment. But you will be setting a positive example and one that he will remember and respect in the long run.

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dr. Monica Vermani

Author

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating trauma, stress, mood & anxiety disorders and is the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is coming out in 2021. www.drmonicavermani.com

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Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: Help! My Underage Nephew Expects Me To Buy Booze For Him

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Dr. Monica Vermani

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