We continue our series where Dr. Monica Vermani answers questions about live, love and everything in between.
Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker, columnist and advocate in the field of mental health and wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is now available on Amazon, and her in-depth online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, offers powerful mental health guidance, life skills, knowledge and healing, anywhere, anytime.
Dear Dr. Monica,
I suck at adulting. I’m 26 years old, moved back home during COVID, and still live with my parents. They don’t charge me rent, and are paying for my cell phone and car insurance, so I can save money to move out. A lot of my friends are in the same position as I am, and we all seem to have fallen back into a comfortable rut. Even with my job, I could never afford the lifestyle that I enjoy living with my parents, who, by the way, are in no hurry for me to move out. Why do I feel so embarrassed about not moving out? How can I bite the bullet and start living like an adult?
Signed, ManBaby
Dear ManBaby,
It sounds to me like you already know that you want to live on your own, that you already have done so — at least for a while — and that you’re eager to begin a new phase of life. I suspect that you feel embarrassed about living with your parents not because others are judging you, but because you are judging yourself!
A lot of people, like yourself, made compromises they never thought they would make and moved back in with parents and siblings during the pandemic. Like you, many young people — most of whom have yet to reach their earning potential — experienced a lifestyle upgrade by moving back home, and find themselves entrapped by their comfortable circumstances.
Since you can’t rely on your parents to nudge you out of the nest — and even as I write this, they may be discussing how to bring up the subject of moving out without upsetting you — why not take the initiative yourself? Set yourself a move-out date, and make a list of the things that have to happen before moving day.
If you can’t afford to live on your own, find a roommate, and start looking for a place to call your own. Once you’re out of your parent’s house, you’ll soon reconnect with the skills you used to have and the many rewards of standing on your own two feet.
There is no time like the present to start building the future you want for yourself. Have faith in your ability to step back into the world of independent living, and don’t look back. Be grateful for your parent’s support at a time when you needed it. And don’t be too hard on yourself for sticking around home a little too long. It’s time to get out of that comfort zone and back out into the world. Enjoy the adventure!
Main Image Photo Credit: www.pexels.com
Hina P. Ansari
Author
Hina P. Ansari is a graduate from The University of Western Ontario (London, Ontario). Since then she has carved a successful career in Canada's national fashion-publishing world as the Entertainment/Photo Editor at FLARE Magazine, Canada's national fashion magazine. She was the first South Asian in...
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