/ What Do Women Want When Dating Long-Term?

by Yvonne Sinniah

What Do Women Want When Dating Long-Term?

Aug 24, 2017

Men! Women are simpler than you think. I explore this concept with dating and relationship coach Christine Hart to really answer the age-old question: what do women want when dating long-term?

Men are consistently baffled when trying to figure out the female species. What does she really want? How will I ever figure it out? Can I actually deliver on what she wants? Well, today’s blog is going to reveal some valuable insights if you are looking to date a woman long-term or if you are already in a relationship and hitting some road bumps.

As a relations advisor, I have the opportunity to help a number of people that are navigating relationships so I definitely have my own advice on this matter. The added bonus is advice by renowned dating and relationship coach Christine Hart at christinehartcoaching.com with our focused chat about what women really want. More importantly we took into consideration the cultural context and expectations within the South Asian community which adds an additional lens to this query. Read on and see what women today really want in a long-term relationship

1. INTEREST

Women are acutely aware when the guy has checked out. This comes through when the man shows no interest in her world or her life and accomplishments. It is important in a relationship to maintain a level of curiosity in your partner’s relationships. Be interested and be interesting. Have something new to share with your partner and also be inquisitive about her day and life as well. She wants to know you care. This beautiful exchange is one of the key ways a relationship stays connected. If you don’t feed it, it won’t grow.

2. COMMUNICATION

Women thrive on healthy communication so any effort to make this happen with that special lady in your life is a move in the right direction. Christine Hart recommends setting time aside for “See and Be Seen” conversations. These are conversations where there are no distractions and both individuals focus on hearing each other out and pay attention to each other. This kind of communication maintains and increases levels of desire for each other. Hart shares that women many times are hurt and feel disconnected when their partner dismisses their feelings. Her advice to men is “If you are okay dismissing her feelings, then how would you feel if your partner dismisses or insults your opinion?”

Most of the time men respond to this with repulsion and offense. Ensure you make the time to talk to each other and have “See and Be Seen” conversations. In these conversations, express gratitude and appreciation for each other as those moments of sharing pay in dividends over the course of a long-term relationship. Take a moment to also read a previous blog on Are Men from Mars?

3. SEX

Women enjoy sex. It may not be outright explicit in the South Asian community but women like sex just as much as men. The only difference is women need to feel connected in order to have sex whereas men need to have sex in order to feel connected. So this causes confusion. Women want appreciation, expression of interest and compliments to feel connected and if those aren’t coming her way, she is not going to want to have sex.

Hart states that many couples just go through the course of their relationships expecting that their sex lives will work itself out. However this is not the case. More awareness and attention to change behaviours is necessary to increase your sexual connection. Men should never feel bad for desiring their partner. It is important that you have that desire and feel confident in that.

Her recommendation is to think about what it takes to get her in the mood. If it means you take care of the kids during bed time so she can shower and get ready then take the step forward to make that happen. Many women simply want more sleep so think of ways she can get more rest. I also have some great advice from Dr. Danoff about keeping intimacy alive in a long term relationship. Know that your woman wants to enjoy sex and the more you do to free her life from stress and create a relaxing environment, the more she will want to be with you.

4. FEEL CHERISHED

Women want to feel like a priority and feel cherished by their significant other. Do this with consistency and she will always stay close to you. Simple acts like making her a cup of tea, rubbing her shoulders or giving her a compliment in front of others will make her feel special. If you don’t know what makes her feel adored, ask her and the ideas will flow. Don’t forget that men by nature are actually very romantic. Acknowledge your own romanticism and express them more to her.

5. EMOTIONAL & PHYSICAL SAFETY

Men have a primal need to provide and protect and this matches well with a woman’s need to feel emotionally and physically safe. So it is important to give her that peace of mind so she can relax into her connection with you. Christine Hart’s blog about the Sexiest Words a Man Can Say is a great read.

Also, a woman feels safe when she knows where the relationship is going. Women want to build with their partner and they don’t want to nag you to find out where things are going. This causes emotional feelings of risk for her in the relationship and can be a sore point. Communication and the sharing of vulnerable and authentic feelings is the key to making her feel emotionally safe around you.

Physical safety can be exemplified by the way you hold her hand or hug her. It also be shown by simply caring about her physical safety and asking her to message you when she reaches her destination. The feeling of emotional and physical safety will be her primal need in the short and long term so working on showing this will bring you both closer.

Men tend to have one bad experience and apply it to all women. Hart encourages men to put aside the bad experiences and use the above key insights above to understand the opposite sex and keep your woman attracted and close to you.

Main Image Photo Credit: India Today

Yvonne Sinniah

Author

Yvonne Sinniah (@YvonneSinniah) is a Relations Advisor and inspirational speaker focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments. focusing on helping individuals achieve success in personal and professional environments. She is on a mission to meet a nee...