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A Girlfriend’s Guide to Girlfriends
Girlfriends
Some of my earliest memories are of watching my grandmother, mother and aunts bustling around the kitchen at one of our houses, getting dinner ready, while we kids ran in between them, clung to our moms' chuneys and eavesdropped. The truth is they weren’t just rolling out rotis on those Sunday afternoons; they were gossiping, drinking chai (or coffee, in my mom’s case), and having hilarious venting sessions. I’ve realized that those memories stuck with me for so long because this was my first exposure to how women interact with and support each other, and to the close female bonds that can develop.
Since then, I’ve had many friendships at all levels. Some have lasted my lifetime, while others faded away. But the one constant about me is that I’ve always been a girls’ girl. By that I mean I’ve always needed to have my girlfriends around me and have valued those friendships. I have many close guy friends too, but when it comes down to it, my girls are whom I go to when venting; they’re the ones who have helped me through the good and bad times without judging, have loved me unconditionally, and have shown me my worth as a woman when I’ve needed a refresher. My girls are my partners in crime (especially on our amazing girls’ nights out!). And I think that, as women, we need to recognize how important those female connections are and cultivate those relationships despite the other demands on our time. The truth is we can’t do it alone. We are all busy, stressed out and learning to navigate through the muddy waters of womanhood. We need a strong support system, and making friends and nourishing those friendships are the foundations of that system. Just remember — it’s never too late to start that process for those of you who have let those relationships fall to the wayside!
Ladies, I know this may come as a shock, but my husband is not interested in everything I have to say, and neither is yours. Of course they love and support us, but when I find a killer deal at the DVF outlet, my husband’s main concern is how much money I’m spending (even though outlet shopping is actually saving money, right?). My best friend, however, wants me to send her a picture of the dress and help me figure out what shoes to wear with it. And, when I finally got the courage to wear red nail polish, my husband was mildly excited (okay, "mildly" may be an overstatement). But, my best friend high-fived me for a full five minutes while we discussed different shades of red that I could try.
What I’m trying to say here is that my girlfriends take the time out of their day to show me they're interested in my day. We openly talk about scary topics, like parenting, sex and body issues, without insecurity, and we help rebuild each other’s confidence before the next issue comes our way. Together, we've been through school, the single life, marriage, pregnancies, motherhood, and bringing our sexy back. We learn from each of our experiences, back each other up and demonstrate our loyalty to each other every time we pick up the phone to call (even after a long time) by picking up right where we left off. And that is powerful.
Recently, I was out with a good friend, and she paid me one of the highest compliments I think I’ve received. She said, “Amrith, you’re so candid about your own life. I always know I can trust you.” I felt like I hit the compliment jackpot with that, because what I heard was, “Amrith, you are real. I don’t feel like you pretend to be anything you aren’t, and I like you for that.” To me, that was validation that my friends care for and like the real me, flaws and all. So, the next chance you get, give one of your girls a call and tell her how much you appreciate her. Because, ultimately, having great friends is the direct result of being a great friend. 
For that reason, I have to pat myself on the back for being the best friend ever, because that’s what I’ve found in return from my girls!
Images: Amrith Aakre (Blogger's own)
Amrith Aakre
Author
Amrith K. Aakre is a fitness nut, avid reader, and clings to her youth by going out dancing occasionally. Amrith’s goal is to communicate her thoughts on all topics from the perspective of a busy mom, wife, and attorney who is trying to find a space in the world.
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