Lifestyle / Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don’t Want To Go To Business School?

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don’t Want To Go To Business School?

Lifestyle Dec 06, 2022

by Dr. Monica Vermani

We continue our series where Dr. Monica Vermani answers questions about live, love and everything in between.

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in treating trauma, stress and mood & anxiety disorders, and the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. She is a well-known speaker, columnist and advocate in the field of mental health and wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is now available on Amazon, and her in-depth online self-help program, A Deeper Wellness, offers powerful mental health guidance, life skills, knowledge and healing, anywhere, anytime.

Dear Dr. Monica,

I’m in my final year of high school and worried about what I should do after graduation. My parents want me to study business, and I’ve received early acceptance at a very good business school. But I want to study history and political science. I am not exactly sure what I would do career-wise with a political science degree, and my parents have made it clear that they are not in favour of this choice.

My parents came to Canada before I was born, and worked hard to provide me with a good life. They say I would be throwing away my future by continuing my education with no clear goal in sight. I want to respect their wishes, but I am not excited about the prospect of attending business school. Should I do as my parents say, to make them happy and proud of me? Or should I be selfish, and do what I want?

I feel alone, with no one to turn to for help, and would really appreciate any guidance you could give me.

— Torn

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: My Parents Are Forcing Me To Go To Business School But I Don't Want To — **Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don’t Want To Go To Business School: What to do when your parents want you to pursue a degree in business but you don’t want to?** Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dear Torn,

First of all, I would like to congratulate you on your hard work and academic achievements to date. Secondly, I would like to assure you that you are not alone in your dilemma, and by coming forward to ask this question, you are helping many people at the same pressure point in life as you.

I don’t have to read between the lines to understand that business school is not the right choice for you… despite what your parents consider to be your best chance for a happy, secure life. And if I can see this through your brief letter, chances are your parents can see that you are less than enthusiastic about the prospect of studying business.

Business schools are great environments for people who are focussed on their goals of working in the world of business. They are full of people who share a common interest. As well as a robust and demanding curriculum, business schools provide students with great opportunities to network and find employment after graduation. That said, business schools are definitely not for someone who is not fully committed to being there.

Imagine, for one moment, that you followed your parents’ advice and attended business school. Chances are that you would not find the subject matter or your business-minded cohorts interesting or engaging. You would be unlikely to go that extra mile to do your best work. You would be unlikely to find inspiration, role models, and mentors. You might fail to thrive, lose confidence and leave school before completing your degree, or you might complete your degree and go on to find success in a field in which you have no interest and find no joy.

The reason you are torn is that you are in a tug-of-war, between your authentic self, and the pressure you place on yourself to please others.

Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don't Want To Go To Business School? — **Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don’t Want To Go To Business School: It’s time to find your authentic self and that’s when you’ll be happy pursuing the degree you want**. Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

As a therapist, I have worked with many highly successful professionals who are unhappy, unfulfilled, and suffering because they pursued a career that fulfilled their parents’ expectations and dreams, rather than their own. One question I ask my patients is this: Do you think your parents would love you less if you were an architect rather than an accountant, doctor, or teacher … The answer is always the same: “No. They would love me just as much, no matter what.”

As for what you can do about this right now, you may think you have nowhere to turn… but I assure you that this is not the case. Sometimes, we need to go outside ourselves and seek guidance from others. For you and your parents, this could be one of these times. Begin by confiding in a trusted teacher or guidance counselor at your school. They will help you access the support and resources to help you and your family understand your options and the many possibilities that lie ahead for people who pursue an education in political science. For example, there are a number of tests available to help students discover careers that align with their interests and strengths, and admissions coaches who help students navigate their post-secondary choices.

You and your parents will be thrilled to learn of the myriad possibilities available to a political science major… from political consultant, market analyst, or government official, to careers in public relations, journalism, international relations, and education, to name a few. Further, many lawyers completed undergraduate degrees before going on to study law. And many students with degrees in political science enrol in MBA programs. Helping your parents see the many opportunities as a result of your preferred field of study is likely to remove their anxieties about your prospects for the future.

My best advice to you is to pursue what interests you and have faith that you will find a career that is right for you as you move out into the world, expand your knowledge and find new inspiration and mentors. A lot of times in life we fear the unknown. So build out from three key things that you know: that you are capable of earning good grades, and you know where your interests lie, and you have parents who love you and want the best for you.

It is important that you make your faith in yourself bigger than your fear of the unknown and or disappointing your parents. Don’t disappoint you! Stand up for your authentic self. Pursue your interests and give yourself the chance to discover where that leads. Choose the path that is right for you, work hard, and enjoy the journey!

Main Image Photo Credit: www.unsplash.com

Dr. Monica Vermani

Author

Dr. Monica Vermani is a Clinical Psychologist who specializes in treating trauma, stress, mood & anxiety disorders and is the founder of Start Living Corporate Wellness. Her book, A Deeper Wellness, is coming out in 2021. www.drmonicavermani.com

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Ask Dr. Monica Vermani: How Do I Tell My Parents I Don’t Want To Go To Business School?

by Dr. Monica Vermani

Dr. Monica Vermani

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