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How To Handle Awkward Questions At Holiday Dinners
Holiday Dinners Are Something To Look Forward To, But We Always Face Those Awkward Questions From Relatives And Little Ones Alike
Holidays are a time for family dinners and reunions. They’re also a time when children and relatives ask those questions you'd rather avoid, leading to embarrassment or awkwardness at the dinner table.
Jacqueline Whitmore is an international etiquette expert. She founded The Protocol School of Palm Beach, and she's also the author of Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work (St. Martin's Press, 2005) and Poised for Success: Mastering the Four Qualities That Distinguish Outstanding Professionals (St. Martin's Press, 2011). She travels all around the world and presents seminars ranging from tech etiquette to business etiquette and cross-cultural protocol. According to her official website, she also offers her mentorship to anyone who wants to start their own etiquette business to maintain the longevity of the tricks of her trade.
“Are you dating anyone?”
In any South Asian family — whether you’re a man or a woman — this question is bound to come up if you’re single. Whitmore explains that if you don’t want to get into long explanations or discussions, then simply say, “I am dating several people right now,” or, “No one special at the moment.” If you don’t want to discuss the matter, change the subject or make it a funny topic. Whitmore strongly suggests, “Never get combative, as satisfying as that might be.”
“Are you moving back home soon?”
Parents — especially South Asian ones — typically dislike the idea of the empty nest and would prefer if their kids remained home with them until they married. Whitmore suggests that instead of saying “never,” you can list all the reasons why you love your apartment. She goes on to say, “Help others understand what attracts you to the place you’re at now, instead of listing all the reasons you don’t want to move back. If you think you could move back eventually, simply say, ’Well I haven’t decided yet. I’m still working out my plan.’”
"When are you having kids?”
South Asian families continue to expect their children to have children of their own sooner rather than later, even newly married couples. If you’re not prepared to have kids anytime soon, simply say, “Nope, not yet.” If you want to have a little fun with grandma, Whitmore recommends, “‘We are just busy practicing right now.’ It might make your inquisitor blush, but you’re off the hook.”
"When will you get a real job?"
If you haven’t chosen a typical career such as doctor or engineer, you may get flak for it at the dinner table — especially from relatives. To avoid any long discussions or arguments, Whitmore recommends, “I am doing what I love, and you know what they say, ‘When you do what you love, the money will follow.'”
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